Ups & Downs & All Arounds, and the Decision

Yesterday was a day of ups and downs and all arounds.  I didn’t realize a person could feel such staggering bi-polar feelings in one day. The last time I felt this way was when I was on birth control, and we all know how crazy THAT can make a person!

I went from being extremely elated at the amazing love and support expressed by individuals who were interested in having  boudoir photography done. I had over 300 views of my boudoir post (that’s 3x what my highest post has ever received, y’all!). Then I went to the super lows reading a negative comment I received and mulling it over all day. Actually, I was rather amazed that I only received ONE. And it was saddening. This woman (whose opinion I also respect and there are no hard feelings over this) told me that she, along with her friends would never hire an individual for their family pictures who also did boudoir photography and that I would lose business over it. I was hurt. So hurt that she would come out and say that, but it also got me thinking. (And we had a discussion of sorts about it, and she sent me some articles that I can provide by request for you)


I went to a forum of amazing ladies who I knew I could trust to be honest, respectful, and insightful. And I was right. Yesterday I received some of the most encouraging words from them – on why I shouldn’t do boudoir photography. Did they come and flat out tell me, “Don’d do it!” – No. In fact, most were incredibly encouraging and wanted to or currently do offer them. Do I really need to write a post about this? Yes. Because in the past 24 hours I feel like my mind has done a complete 180 and my opinion has drastically changed. Even this morning, my thoughts from last night were cemented.

I kept telling myself, and others: “Every woman should get to feel beautiful, confident, and sexy even if they don’t THINK that they are.” This is true, but instead of doing it through boudoir, I am going to seek to do this through normal portrait sessions, beauty sessions, and glamours sessions.

Without getting too deeply into any religious reasoning, here is what I found through discussion  with women of all faiths and walks of life, and personal thought.

7) I don’t want to be teaching my children one thing, while I advocate another. Modesty in dress and action and speech (although I’ll admit the ‘in action and speech’ needs a little more work from me!)

6) I do want to promote modesty and values.

5) I don’t want a man or boy, or even a woman to begin or fall back into an addiction because they happen to come across something they find on my blog, read past the disclaimers and have themselves a ‘look’.

4) I do want it (my blog) to be a safe environment for all ages.

3) I don’t want a woman to come across pictures and be saddened that she thinks she isn’t pretty enough, slender enough, sexy enough, curvy enough, brave enough, or confident enough.

2) It’s what my husband thought all along and I brushed his opinion aside thinking, ‘he doesn’t know art’. Yes, that was my opinion, ‘It’s art’.  Do I still think it is art, yeah. But it isn’t the kind I want to dabble in. And I should probably listen to my husband more… he’s sometimes right 😉

1) I KNOW BETTER. And I was justifying myself. And now I realize how blatant my disregard was. I am not judging anyone for being a boudoir photographer or for deciding to have boudoir photography done, but my decision is that I will not be offering it. It will not be a ‘specialty’ for sure, but it won’t even be an option. And I feel good with that. And to those who expressed an interest, I know several amazing photographers who would be more than happy to assist you!

I am more than happy to still do glamour and beauty shots!

So I want to sincerely apologize to any and all who were offended by my previous choice to offer boudoir. I hope it didn’t tarnish your opinion of me too much!

I also hope that those who are interested in boudoir photography do not feel like I am being ‘judge-y’ that is definitely not the case and I do not look down on anyone else for choosing to offer it, but for my personal self, it isn’t something I can offer. And I certainly feel that the option to do so is between a woman and her gent!

And I want to express my thanks to all those who were so sweet and kind in expressing your approval and disapproval. And thank you to my “P.P. Group” for all your mentoring!

Thank You for respecting my decision and being so supportive! ❤

And a quote a friend posted:

The difference between school and life?
In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.
-Tom Bodett

This was my test my friends.


3 thoughts on “Ups & Downs & All Arounds, and the Decision

  1. Renae says:

    Beautifully written by a beautiful person. Thank you for sharing such a personal journey!

  2. alyonaobornphotography says:

    I’m sure you are very happy with your decisions
    good job
    I’m sure its a great part of photography but its just not for everyone

  3. […] read your blog post {the one I posted earlier today}. LOVE IT. Jo, you are so amazing and so talented. I love you so much and I am so lucky to call you […]

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